The frayed ends of sanity

Twisting under schyzophrenia, i'm loosing myself in me. Today i tried to look into the mirror and it turned it's back to me. I seem to be missing something...something that has been violently ripped out of me, out of my mind, out of my soul... I miss you, and i can't stop thinking about you every fucking day! I'm having nightmares and i wake up in the middle of the night with the scent of your perfume, and i feel the raging need to scream. Loosing you has driven me insane. It's true what they say...you never know what you had untill you have no more. And i don;t have you no more...i will never have you, but i will carry your memory carved deep into my heart... I know i never said it enough to you...but i did love you. The fact that i was never there to show it to you, was indeed my fault... I miss everything about you...the way you looked at me, the way you spoke to me, i miss cooking for you, i miss arguing with you wether we should or should not go to the movies, planning our summer vacation, i miss you picking me up from work and going to your place, eating pizza like crazy people...All those things about you that i miss drive me insane... I'm sorry i wasn't there, to see you for the last time, i simply did not have the power to...for the first time in my life i was afraid, i was alone, i was empty, powerless and unable to go on...i miss you.

You won't be forgotten.
i love you




i know this was your favourite song...